1.
"Love
may
be
blind,
but
I'm
not
fooled
by
your
pathetic
attempts
at
romance. "】

2.
"Your
love
life
is
a
trainwreck,
and
I'm
just
here
to
document
the
wreckage. "】

3.
"Forget
fairy
tales,
love
is
more
like
a
horror
story
with
too
many
sequels. "】

4.
"The
only
thing
more
toxic
than
your
relationship
is
the
stench
of
desperation
that
surrounds
it. "】

5.
"Love
is
a
battlefield,
and
you're
definitely
taking
all
the
casualties. "】

6.
"If
love
is
a
drug,
then
you're
definitely
overdosing
on
a
lethal
dose
of
stupidity. "】

7.
"Your
love
story
is
more
like
a
tragic
comedy,
with
a
tragic
ending
and
no
laughs
in
between. "】

8.
"I
wouldn't
wish
your
love
life
on
my
worst
enemy,
that
would
just
be
cruel. "】

9.
"You
think
you're
in
love,
but
I
think
you're
just
high
on
your
own
delusions. "】

10.
"Love
may
make
the
world
go
round,
but
yours
just
makes
me
dizzy
with
disbelief. "】

11.
"Your
romantic
gestures
are
about
as
genuine
as
a
knock-off
Rolex
at
a
street
market. "】

1
2.
"Love
is
a
beautiful
thing,
but
your
version
is
more
like
a
Picasso
painting
gone
wrong. "】

1
3.
"If
love
were
a
crime,
you'd
be
serving
a
life
sentence
for
being
a
repeat
offender. "】

1
4.
"Cupid
must
be
playing
a
sick
joke
on
you,
because
your
love
life
is
pure
tragedy. "】

1
5.
"Your
relationship
is
like
a
reality
TV
show
that
no
one
wants
to
watch,
but
we
can't
look
away. "】

1
6.
"Love
makes
the
world
go
round,
but
your
relationship
is
just
causing
motion
sickness. "】

1
7.
"You're
not
in
love,
you're
just
addicted
to
the
drama
that
comes
with
it. "】

1
8.
"If
love
were
a
game,
you'd
be
the
reigning
champion
of
making
all
the
wrong
moves. "】

1
9.
"Your
love
story
is
like
a
badly
written
novel,
with
clichés
and
plot
holes
everywhere. "】

20.
"You
keep
saying
it's
love,
but
all
I
see
is
a
trainwreck
waiting
to
happen. "】